So for October I am not weighing myself at all until October 31.. I weighed myself when I got up on October 1 and was 236.00. I am hoping to loose 10 pounds in the month.. so we shall see on October 31 as I don't plan to weigh myself until the end of the month..
For the month of October I am not going to weigh myself.. I have focused to much on the number on the scale of late and it keeps going up and down and I am finding myself weighing myself every day.. and getting upset when it doesn't go down.. and I have been up and down (by 1 or 2) every day..
So for October I am not weighing myself at all until October 31.. I weighed myself when I got up on October 1 and was 236.00. I am hoping to loose 10 pounds in the month.. so we shall see on October 31 as I don't plan to weigh myself until the end of the month..
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So I admit I have been pretty hard on myself for not losing as much weight as I thought I was. I know my diet isn’t the best right now but its better than it was. I am still eating plenty of fresh fruit and vegs and drinking less pop and booze but I still have my days were I indulge. I am still exercising and moving in the right direction. I am making little changes instead of one big one. This will help me loose the weight slowly and healthy and increase my chances of keeping it off.
Anyway like I said I was a little disappointed in myself for not losing as much weight as I wanted. I have lost a total of 8 pounds and was hoping to lose more. But I can’t be hung up to much on the scale otherwise I will go crazy. So I have decided to make a list of things that have improved (that I have noticed) so I can look back on this and remember its not all about the scale. - I can feel my stomach is smaller and my butt has lifted slightly higher.. - I am not getting so winded when swimming. - I feel like I am getting faster at swimming - My work pants (even though stretchy material) feels baggier to me - I can walk up the steps at the train station without stopping, in pain or dying for a breathe - My mood has improved.. I am more happier and calmer… I feel like I can handle any situation - I am not so tired. I mean I have tired days but not so many of them now. Relying less and less on energy drinks (which I shouldn’t be drinking anyway) - This might sound strange but I feel like my brain function has improved. I am thinking clearly and less mistakes happening in my work - My legs are stronger - I am able to jog slightly longer than before So ill look at this every time I have a bad day and remember that not everything is related to the scale. It is said that when starting a lifestyle change within 4 weeks you notice difference in your, within 8 weeks your friends will notice a difference and within 12 the rest of the world will notice. I have passed week 4 and I am definitely seeing a difference in me. I had a friend last week mention that she has noticed that I have lost weight but I haven’t see her since November, but I’ll take it. Hopefully more friends will notice and then it’s on the rest of the world. I can't get to hung up on the scale otherwise i only set myself up for disappointment. Just keep working on eating healthy and exercising and the points Weight Loss
So in January I had a goal to loose 5-10 pounds this month. For the last couple of days I have been boarding on 246-245 and this morning I reached 245.4 pounds.. which makes it a 5 pound weight loss for the month.. meaning I reached that goal. On the lower end but hey its a start. (total loss from last year 8 pounds) We did start a little late in the month when it comes to exercising. With our friend coming over to help set up a program with the gym down stairs not coming until mid Jan but we still went a few times. Out of the 31 days in January I worked out 10 of them. Yes I counted. We every time I worked out I put some money I a jar and the marked it down so when it reaches 100 workouts I can use that money for a reward... :) Workout also included the swimming we have been doing to. This doesn't counting the walking I have been continuing to do with my friend. We walk about, on average about 30 minutes 3 times a week. I don't count that as a workout through.. that's separate. When the weather gets warmer and lighter longer we will increase our walks to 90 minutes like we do every Spring/Summer. I have spent the week or so really being vigilant on keeping track of my calorie count. I think that will help a lot (well I know it will) so that's good as well. I am hoping to loose another 5-10 pounds in the month of February. Already in my calendar is when I am going swimming and I want to do a couple of aerobics classes this month. I have done well so far I want to keep going. Money So far the budget is pretty good for the month of January. Our travel budget is on track which is good. The Bf is borrowing money next week from our savings account to go on a trip with his buddy next weekend.. so hopefully he can pay that back soon. If things go really well I will have all 3 credit cards paid off completely and a huge chunk of the line of credit paid off.. so working hard to pay that off.. I am going to look at ways to get some more cash.. like selling some stuff I have and perhaps some crafts to.. hoping to work on that over the month of Feb. Having a bad day today. After a week of Christmas parties, Christmas food and treats I have unfortunately put on the 7 pounds I have lost making my weight go back up to 250. I promised myself I wouldn’t reach that number again. This is the 3rd or 4th time I my life I have reached that weight. What the hell is wrong with me. How could I let myself get to this point.. again.
I am really hating myself today. Usually when I look at myself in the mirror I see awesome but today all I see is fat and disgusting. Every year I make a promise to myself that I would change and every year around this time I am wondering what I am doing. I turn 35 next year and I am not where I wanted to be, body wise. I keep reminding myself that I am awesome, beautiful and I can do anything but I admit it’s getting harder and harder to believe it. I am just not liking myself today. Every year I say I will lose weight and I make it a goal but every year I come back to revisit that goal and wonder WTF did I go wrong. I just need to crawl back into bed for a while So this weekend I was once again reminded just how big I am.. this is becoming a bit of a habit.
I spent an extended weekend away with the BF’s family up in the Boonies.. well Prince Albert and getting on the plane I discovered that my hips were too big to sit on the plane. I thought to myself how am I going to sit like this for a long time when I head to Australia in October. It was bad enough for an hour and a half. Thankfully the BF moved up his arm rest and let me “spread out” a bit. Still I was one step closer to having to purchase a second seat.. Then while driving to the farm were the reunion was I was told by my BF’s niece that I have a big butt. Ok so she is four and says what she wants.. but still thanks for the reminder.. Then after the reunion we went to Edmonton to stay with the BF’s sister and we went to West Edmonton Mall. While getting into the roller coaster I had a terrible flashback about the ride I was asked to leave and thought that the belt was not going to fit around me. Thankfully it did but I had a moment of sheer terror that for a moment and it didn’t come from the ride either. Besides that it was a fun weekend hanging out with the BF’s family and extended family. They loved me and we had a lot of fun. Even though I got those reminders we still managed to get some exercise in, mostly walking but we did manage to go for a 30 minute bike ride while in Edmonton and playing with the kids chasing them around was fun and exercising to. All and all a good weekend. But the seat on the planes concern me a little. Mainly because it’s a massive flight down to Australia and I want to be as conformable as possible. So I really need to step up my exercise routine. So as well as saving for the trip I need to be slimming down for the trip… Two challenges accepted… ....to chips and dip. I don't know what it is but i just love them.. i can eat chips and dip all day and night. Last night when i came home from meeting a friend after work i put the dinner on that the BF has prepared. While i waiting for that to cook i notice half a bag of chips and dip that were left over from the weekend. So i decided to have a few to tie myself over until dinner was ready (because i was pretty hungry)
Before i knew it both the bag and the container were completely gone. And then when dinner was ready i wasn't really that hungry for it so i only ate a little bit. God only knows how many calories i ate with the chips and dip. And this is not the first time i have had that. On off days i have been know just to get a big bag of chips and couple of containers of dip and ate that for dinner. The worst part it that its soooo addictive. Then again more bad things for you are yummy and addictive.. :) So i have decided that i am banning chip and dip from the house for the month of Feb. I will not purchase or consume any chips or dip for the entire month of Feb. The BF has his chips and dip but he has chips and salsa and i really don't like the kind he loves.. so i know i wont eat them.. So we shall see how things go. I know i can do it (i can do anything i put my mind to) its just a question of will power.. because really they are so dam tasty together :) Not sure if I mentioned this, I don't think I did but anyway. I weighed myself at the beginning of the year so I had a start off point for my goal this year of loosing weight this year. I wanted to be at least 200 pounds by the end of this year. Achievable goal right.. based on my previous weight I just had to loose about 30 pounds in a year to achieve that.. I thought it was an attainable goal for you.
Until I weighed myself.. obviously I had put on a "little" weight between the holiday to Cuba and Christmas. I weighed in at 249 pounds. that is like 15-20 more then I was in September.. holy crap I say I did weigh myself using the WII fitness so I am not sure how accurate it all it but still... that number is something I wasn't ready to see. Amazingly though I don't feel upset about it. I know where I stand and I know I have to work a little harder. I still have a goal of getting to under 200 pounds for the year and at least now I have some idea of where I stand and what I need to do to achieve it. And I still have my goal of buying myself a new DVD if I loose 10 pounds this month. So far doing well but like with everything time will tell (doesn't help that my birthday was this past week). Oh well such is life... A few days ago I wrote about how trying on clothes wasn't an indication of weight loss.. I did mention there are exceptions to that rule. Well yesterday I discovered one of them. Clothes that you already own that you haven't been able to fit into for a while and now they do.
I have this really nice winter coat that is so warm but last winter I wasn't able to do it up at the front but I put it away at the end of last winter hoping that it would fit me this winter. Totally forgot about it of course. So when I found it again this winter I put it on as normal and went on with my days. Then yesterday while standing waiting for a light to change a gust of wind came up and thought I should button my jacket up. As soon as I did it up I remember that last winter I couldn't do that. And now I can button it up no problem. Very excited about that... again its the little things that make the day.. So there are exceptions to the clothing rule and that was one of them. Thought I would share. Next week I will be in Cuba. I don't think I will be getting down to my size 16 as I had in my goal BUT I am happy with myself nonetheless... which ultimately is the best. Can't wait to soak up the sun... Over the last year or so I have been struggling with off the rack clothing. Hovering somewhere between an 18 and a 20. At one point a 22. Pants and skirts didn't fit me as well. They were either to tight in the tummy area or heaven help me I sometimes couldn't get the dam thing over my hips. So yesterday I was at Value village for their 50% sale to get some clothing for costumes for upcoming shows I have. I decided to try on a size 18 skirt. I took two with me to the change rooms just incase the first one was a fluke. To my surprise not only could I get them both over my hips I was able to zip them up without any problems. I can say now I am a size 18. Which is a start in the right direction. For once in a long time I went clothes shopping and didn't get depressed when leaving. Right now I am very happy with that. As mentioned in previous post you gotta celebrate the little things otherwise it is not worth while.
I think things are going pretty good. I have a good grove on right now with my walking and watching my diet. There are still things that could be improved, such as perhaps getting some different exercises in there like weights and classes and improve my diet more, adding more vegetables and stuff and perhaps having a more strict menu plan but small steps to start. Besides starting small will help me in the long term. Right now I am happy to say I am a certain size 18. Super excited day today. I noticed today that i can nearly pull down my work pants over my hips without undoing them. I am soo close.. which means i am loosing inches.. haven't seen a big difference in the scale these past couple of weeks but i didn't let it discourage me.
I kept at it reminding myself of the motivational thoughts i have put in this blog AND keep at my "lifestyle change" This is another one of those things to remember.. i may have to go out and get another pair of pants soon This makes me really happy.. |
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